[acdha]

> But if you feel 'towered over' because of it, that's on you. Part of being professional is staying above these silly games.

Neither of these statements are absolute truths. Physical intimidation is a real effect, and it affects some people disproportionately — a high-status person might not care but someone who already dealing with being one or more degrees out of top status or who has a history of dealing with abuse might notice it more than you think.

Similarly, while it's true that many of us learn to be thick-skinned and ignore things like this, that doesn't mean that it's desirable to have to do so or 100% effective. One of the things you'll learn as you learn more about it is that these small psychological cues can affect you even if you think you're above them and there's a cost to having to think strategically about things like this when the other party can focus their full attention on the surface issue.

Most importantly, almost anyone who is prone to bullying is aware of these dynamics at some level. I'm tall/straight/white/male, never had to worry about finding another job, etc. and I've definitely had interactions where other people afterwards mentioned that they would have been afraid to stand up to someone's bullying because they can't afford the potential backlash. It's like the advice about salary negotiation where people who don't look like me have a LOT more stories about how they tried that with very different results.

[zozbot234]

If you think you're being routinely physically intimidated to the point of feeling stressed out or even threatened, you should absolutely speak up - those things are horrible and nothing can justify them. But as a professional, your very first reflex when facing such things should be to immediately stand back to regain your physical space, then make it clear to whomever you're confronting that you'll want clear and respectful communication from them and they shouldn't be expecting you to flinch. If this is not enough to make them immediately change their tune, you're in a toxic work environment and should plan on polishing up your resume.