[_9omd]

I completely agree that the commodification of dating is a big part of the problem. The same reason it's hard to read a long blog article or pick a show on Netflix are why app dating is so hard. I find it quite easy to land first dates, but they rarely lead to second dates or more. It's really hard to want to put energy into trying a second date when the first date didn't blow you away and you have a large pool of other matches to go out with.

I find that most first dates end with mutual ghosting, I'm not even sure if it's appropriate to call it ghosting if it's mutual. In many of the cases there probably isn't long term relationship potential, but in some cases there could be if the effort was put in by both parties. But why put in the effort when you have someone who you've already fantasized to be better that you can go out with in a few days? If people had fewer choices they'd be more willing to put an effort into making a connection with those choices and see if a relationship can blossom.

I don't really know what's better. Few choices that you put a lot of effort into, or a multitude of choices that you wait until you have instant chemistry. For me personally I've done a lot of app dating and it's only ranged from hookups to short term dating. All of my long term relationships have been through people I've meet in real life.