| > The addictions you describe, porn, YouTube, gaming and what you are doing here are in this theory related to dopamine. You seem to have kicked it or you can't reach your level anymore. I felt uneasy about my relationship/marriage before going heavily into gaming and youtube. I think those two just were a way to not listen to my own thoughts and continue with normal life. > Sometimes you need to do something extreme, shake things up or pick a fight and feel alive again. I did something extreme last week which not even in a throwaway account I feel comfortable mentioning (nothing illegal of course) and I haven't felt this alive in years. Hell there are some nights I haven't been able to sleep remembering what I did last week and remembering with a smile. > I don't know where you are at with this, but love does not rekindle on command. Just some chemical in your brain and everything is different. Very true > Others gave you some really solid advice here, sorry I don't have any. Thank you, your post was very insightful nonetheless. > Just be careful, this can be a very lonely planet. Quoting myself from another comment:
"I've never understood the worry of how you die. Yes if I divorce and never marry again I'll die lonely, for sure. But should I be miserable for 40 years of my adult life just to not die lonely? I prefer to try to be happy for the good years that I have left instead of worrying and acting now in preparation for my death." |