[mikestew]

I'd recommend starting with an individual therapist, rather than seeking advice from randoms on the internet. Software dev can afford a few sessions, even if U. S. insurance doesn't pay for it (and it probably will). Depending on the advice from the counselor, couples counseling or maybe divorce, who knows? I certainly don't.

But an hour of face time with a professional is going to be loads more helpful than a few paragraphs here and there from strangers.

[throwaway020222]

I'll definitely start therapy for myself at first, and later with her.