[ydhddhtchgvbdc]

Vasectomy worked great long-term as a not-to-do. No magical children have magically become manifest.

Marriage is on that list too. Also working swimmingly and comes highly recommended.

Your mileage may vary.

It's just something I noticed. Marriage and children did something to people. Especially to men. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. They all seemed to prematurely age and become miserable. I tell myself the good is private, you can't see the good of family life because you are not privy to it. I don't know if I'm wrong. I also tell myself that this is a construct of our society, not of man. That we should want to have children, that this shouldn't be a fundamental part of our lives. Yeah it isn't it, it's a misery. That a child can so completely trap us financially and otherwise is a great sadness. Money being more valuable than life. The high priests of finance determining how much life there can be.

[muzani]

This seems to be the case in many richer countries, typically the ones where birth rates are low. It's ironic that once a nation becomes wealthy enough, children are a luxury.

The part about marriage may be a product of culture. A married couple is meant to be a single unit, not two individuals on the same team, who have to compromise on what direction they're going.

It's quite different in a developing country. My kids were born in private hospitals, go to private school, and I pay health insurance for them. I spend on the high end on kids and the cost is still less than I spend on "office equipment".

I guess back on topic, my not to do list would be moving to places like the US, Japan, or Germany, where raising kids would be unaffordable.

[godot]

Happy or miserable would be subjective based on how the person takes it. But I can tell you the "prematurely age" part is simply because of the amount of work it takes to raise a child. This is universal, for all children. I don't think anyone who doesn't have children can correctly estimate the amount of work and effort a child takes to raise. That amount of work takes a toll on your body and the aging is the result you can observe of that parent.