[betwixthewires]

I cook mostly. I eat pretty good.

I come from a diverse background with a diverse friend group in a very large city. By diverse, I mean at least a dozen nationalities and largely immigrants from every continent. I'm no stranger to it, and it does hold value to me. But it's overrated, it's not worth being packed into an apartment building like a sardine and getting stuck in traffic going anywhere that isn't the corner store.

That said, where I live isn't exactly a monoculture. There are Indians, Vietnamese, Chinese, Philippino, Norwegians, Germans, Mexican and assorted other central american people, Cubans, and of course your usual white and black american people. All in a town with a 4 digit population.

The places I can get to in a 5 mile car ride where I live might not be places to buy stuff, but I can have a lot of fun out here. There's water, woods, lots of little food shacks and taco trucks and a couple of grocery stores, a few bars (I've grown out of bars mostly). It's low stress to get around, and when you get where you're going there's usually some people that aren't jaded by the smell of the masses and are eager to be friendly.

I wouldn't say the dating game is easier in cities. You've got just as much competition as options, and people in cities are more judgmental and unforgiving. And also, in my opinion, out here the quality of the people is just better in general.

I think largely the majority of people in cities are there because they're stuck there. Very few people anywhere moved there because they wanted to, most people are just born where they live, and in cities there's just more people in a smaller space. I don't think it's indicative of an advantage, and I think largely the desire to live there is driven by ideas like life outside of one is a waste, there's nothing to do, country bumpkins are bad neighbors, etc. Most of the selling points of densely populated environments are overstated, if they're true at all anymore IMO.

[CharlesW]

> …people in cities are more judgmental and unforgiving.

As someone whose life took the opposite path — born and raised in rural Iowa, having since lived in both big cities and suburbs — I'm astounded by generalizations like the above, "the quality of the people is just better", etc. The lesson seems to be "you're going to [love|hate] the [big city|rural] experience based on the personal experiences you have in each.

[betwixthewires]

Yeah well, people are talking about their own subjective experience and their preferences. I don't think all cities are the same, and I don't think all rural places are the same. But the one I wound up in is really special, and it's not the only one. You can leave small town Iowa and go somewhere else that isn't Chicago or San Francisco, and I'm sure there's a city somewhere I might enjoy.

[CharlesW]

> But the one I wound up in is really special, and it's not the only one.

Of course! And there are oases in areas that are otherwise mostly cultural deserts (i.e. Iowa City). I'm glad you don't actually think of city folks as "generally worse". I'm thankful to have spent time in both big cities and small rural communities, and I think it'd be good for our collective empathy if more people could.