[tomcam]

Had many of the same experiences, though thank heavens I did not wind up with tinnitus.

Being unsafe in your own house and your own school and your own neighborhood is almost unimaginably difficult. No place to go, no money , no lockable closets or neighbors houses or school programs. I remember it all like it was this afternoon even though it was 50 years ago.

When I was age 11 I decided I would try to survive so I could get the fuck out of my neighborhood and never come back. That was the one counterbalance to my suicidal thoughts that persisted until I was 15. I’m also a college dropout but was able to teach myself programming and to bootstrap a good life.

And the tinnitus. Fuck. It is hard for other people to understand what you’re going through with the chronic conditions, but they just sap the interest in living like nothing else.

My heart is with you, brother.