[rexstjohn]

The bad news is it sounds like you have absolutely nothing.

The good news is it sounds like you have absolutely nothing.

How I would love to move to Taiwan or Vietnam for six months making my current salary and work remote right now.

Or even one month.

Wouldn’t it be fun to go to Europe, take a train across the continent and work on a laptop.

Or an Airbnb in Barbados.

Who convinced you that you have to stay in this little box at a time when developer jobs are in unlimited supply?

Where did you learn that you have to constrain your options to your local environment only?

And I will tell you: The city and location do matter. You may not be crazy to conclude that only other people like yourself settle for a work / life balance like this in that city.

A small local demographic problem turns into a major existential problem for you. No one young and fun wants to live in a boring ass city, suburb or financial center bereft of culture.

Go to Nashville. Go to Colorado.

I have been very surprised visiting Chicago, for example, at how vibrant and different and friendly people were.

And visiting Austin. Wow, you can go to live music all night for $15 and walk around between bars and there is culture to experience.

Or in Taipei. Woah, people hang out in cafes reading books at 2am at all night bookstores.

If you feel like your life sucks and your environment sucks, it probably does.

Lot of people I know literally just book a ticket and stay in hostels around Japan or Asia or Europe. Cheap, meet people, work remote.

Biggest challenge is going to be your unwillingness to take even the smallest risk. That is on you.

[Hnrobert42]

Ha. Yeah. At 35, I was in OP’s frame of mind. I pulled the ripcord.

I sold my modest house. Quit my job. Started traveling. I had one friend in VN who left two weeks after I arrived. Through online dating apps and running clubs, I met a ton of new friends and lived in several countries. It wasn’t all roses. There were so really lonely times, but I went through that in the States, too.

Basically, if you are lucky enough to be healthy and able to scrape together $30k (a lot for some, I know), then you can live a pretty fascinating life for a year in a ton of fascinating places.

[dominotw]

yea I am doing that right now, Loneliness is no joke. Most important thing i struggle with is maintaining postive mindset and not go into a negative spiral.

[Hnrobert42]

I hope you are doing alright. Everyone is different, but for me, finding a steady girlfriend and full time work resolved my most accuse depression. All the “freedom” was exciting, but it came at a cost.

[lupire]

People who can make friends at 2am on Thailand can also make friends with their coworkers and neighbors. Lonely loners at home become lonely loners on Thailand.

[blackboxlogic]

Countering with a lesson I leaned the hard way: if you're depressed and you go to Europe you'll be depressed in Europe.

Traveling may not be a bad idea, but it won't necessarily fix anything because "wherever you go, there you are"

[atregir]

You reminded me of this song: https://open.spotify.com/track/2Z77xPgph4BVaW8BgzVZrp?si=c-1...

And I believe what you say is very true, although I'm one of the ones that easily move and embrace the change - I think I keep doing it for the fun and the challenge and simply out of curiosity. At least that's what I tell myself, since I've had to _really_ think if I was trying to run away from anything whenever I did choose to move, exactly because of that expression and of this song.

ps. I also went into my notes and found this gem, which I've really enjoyed reading some time ago: https://moretothat.com/travel-is-no-cure-for-the-mind/

[dougmwne]

Damn. You said it better than I could and I'm living it. Yes. The location absolutely matters. Our environments create our behavior and our thoughts. Change the environment, change the person. Most people can't do it, but this person absolutely can.

[burner-acc-123]

terrible advice. Travel around! be a transplant! uproot yourself again and again, continually running from your problems! distraction! the FOOD, oh god the FOOD! gimme a break lol.