Dismissing something as "victim blaming" is the best way to say "I am not mature enough to accept that I have responsibilities, and I will play the role of a victim for as long as I can stay unaccountable for my actions".
I asked this question in another comment, but same thing: Just curious, is this your attitude towards other things as well? There used to be a very popular ebay scam, which had people sell large screen TVs and video game systems for very cheap. At the bottom of the auction description, in fine print, the auction also clearly stated that you were bidding/buying only a photo of the product, not the actual product. In other words, it was "spelled out", so no one was getting scammed according to your perspective here, right? It was on the fault of the buyers for not reading the license/auction description?
Dark patterns are not illegal, but they fall in the reputation loss category.
Taking your example: Ebay decided that they couldn't afford the reputation loss to accept listings with dark patterns so they updated their T&C to reflect that, but that doesn't mean that the action that ebay took was the absolute truth.
To name a different example about dark patterns: There are websites which color the "Accept All Cookies" button with the primary action color and they place the button after the checkboxes where you choose your cookies, in the place that most of us expect a "Submit" button. As far as the GDPR is concerned they're complying.
As a consumer it is your choice to stop doing business with persons and companies that use dark patterns.
The same applies to open source. You are seeing that the number of maintainers who are disrupting projects is increasing. Would you really trust your business to a person that you don't even know? It is your reponsibility to audit the code that you're using.