| > “emotional support, intimacy, and useful social information” Where's the element of PLAY in this? What about FUN? When you mention "my whole life" - does that include when you were South Park age (5th grade?) For me, it's all improv and it's a fun game. I seek out the opportunities to play it. It's "yes, and" as you pass the ball back and forth in conversation. Some do better with this than others. For some, conversation might be totally a status game or some other motive involved. For most people, it's good to simply excuse yourself and move on. I'll often LARP along, but subtly parody the situation, to grind down the seriousness. In bars, I can "take the piss" or "bust your balls" with the best of them. If you haven't heard those terms, it's basically banter, but with different terms for people from different regions. Again, it's all improv and adaptation to the person / group. I find that groups are the best, but they are hard to find. You can't just form a group, and they won't last forever. It's a bit of a spontaneous thing. But once you find a good one, it's better than any individual friendship. Maybe the bonds are strengthened by a sense of shared comraderies within a group that you don't get from an individual friendship. In any case, you have to get out in a search for some shared fun. |