| I think it is biological, and also that "culture" is generally an expression of biology also. Why wouldn't biological factors influence the collective expression of human nature? Culture doesn't exist in a vacuum outside of these forces. There are probably some men like you describe but your lack of success finding what you're looking for speaks to the likelihood the standard model for male friendships closer to accurate and more prevalent..and dare I say natural. Depending on what you actually mean by "intimacy", here's a relevant comment I made on another thread about difficulty finding friendships for men: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28969047 copying below: "True friendship comes mostly from shared struggle. Think sports teams, military, small teams at work, even childhood friends and the experience growing up. It is hard to establish anything meaningful of a connection with casual interactions, and expecting to just "party/play hard" with people you don't really know is putting the cart before the horse. First you must work hard together. I'd suggest joining a Crossfit gym or similar. I've had great success meeting people within the context of group workouts. It has regular class schedules, and provides a way to ease into social interactions at your own pace as you'll be around the same people regularly. Often this leads to opportunities to do things together outside of the classes. Additionally, there are likely individuals with similar disinterest in the common activities you mentioned in you CS classes. Finding opportunities to work with someone on class assignments, studying or projects together would fall in the "shared struggle" category." |