[openknot]

>I have many acquaintances, I’m not shy or socially awkward. E.g. When I was running a business I would often go to business networking events alone, start conversations with people, establish a rapport and spend hours chatting, but all those interactions have essentially left me with one good friend.

I have a similar experience when attending more professional environments. However, I think it's easier to create relationships marked more by friendly intent — rather than professional advantages — when working with people outside of your industry, especially in non-profit contexts. In these contexts, as there are less/no immediate professional advantages, you are likely staying in touch due to liking their personality.

>I think the female “model” of friendships outlined in the abstract just makes more sense to me. “emotional support, intimacy, and useful social information” is what I want from a friendship. I suspect there are other men in this position and that the dominant male “model” of friendship that we have (and which is outlined in this article) is more cultural than biological. But I have no proof.

I have no problems having a friendly but tactful relationship with other men who are competitive, but I would idly prefer a close friendship with a guy similar to the friendships I experienced in elementary/middle/high school due to spending lots of time with the same people. I really missed that kind of relationship when I was in university.

However, I've shifted expectations to only expect a "best friend"-like relationship (where I can let my guard down and act like myself) with a romantic partner. I just don't think most people in my bubble are willing to set aside the time and energy to nurture and maintain close friendships (e.g. meeting up with someone just to hang out or grab dinner) in other contexts.