[marktangotango]

> I’m a 42 year old male and have found it very hard, my whole life, to establish meaningful friendships with other men.

Same here. Maybe you, like me, have none of the characteristics the fine article mentions?

> (men) value same-sex friends who are physically formidable, possess high status, possess wealth, and afford access to potential mates.

[bilbo0s]

I think it may be even deeper.

I have 3 male friends who are extremely close types. And others I would say are very close types. However, they are not particularly wealthy, afford me no access to potential mates, and are definitely not what anyone would term "physically formidable". (Maybe one is? If you only look at his height and ignore his freakishly gangly frame.) Point is, I was willing to initiate friendships with them 25 years ago or whatever despite them checking none of the boxes I should have been looking for. (According to the study).

I wonder if most men are simply unwilling to do that? Maybe most men actually do look for those things, and will never consider friendships with any man who doesn't have them? There is a concept in dating called "settling". I wonder if most men are "unwilling to settle"?

So, you're right, it is possible the commenter has none of those things, but it's equally possible that the commenter has all of those things, and simply wants to be around the rest of the "cool kids"?

[stereolambda]

I find this list very weird, like someone would look for a... strong patron? not a friend? My understanding of manhood (which I don't pretend to be normative) is that you're supposed to make do with as much of those things as you have yourself, work with your limitations, not attach to someone else. A friend is supposed to be pleasing/interesting to be around (i.e., compatible) and trustworthy.

I would even tone down signalling the qualities mentioned in TFA to avoid attracting into relationships the people who are looking for gain. It would be dangerous to build your life on these.

[xapata]

Interestingly, having female friends to fulfill the need for emotional support will create the "access to potential mates" characteristic that makes it easier to have male friends.