| I recognise a lot of what you say and empathise. One of the reasons i chose comouter science was that it was an engineering discipline where I didn't have to wait for materials. I can dream something up and build it tonight. That also means you can progress as quickly as you choose. Perhaps at the cost of social relationships. And we often do that at a stage where we haven't learned the value of those relationships yet. At least for me, what you describe comes out of an unhealthy level of perfectionism and expectations on myself. Expectations I'll never satisfy, hence unhealthy behaviour if I don't address my expectations. A therapist helped make those more recognisable for me. Consider it. As long as you have balance in work and other activities, there is work in our field that you will be able to look back on and feel a sense of achievement. Look up civic technology. What tech offers is making things feasible and accessible where it wouldn't have been before. Things can be more efficient, like offering remote learning, data collection, analysis and data-driven decision making. But you don't have to do civic tech to be proud of your work. What tech offers can benefit society in very many ways. It's even justifiable to work for a bank if it's a bank that doesn't exploit people. And as an employee you can help keep it that way. So don't be too harsh on yourself. And you don't necessarily have to leave the industry to feel you've accomplished something. |