[ajmurmann]

I think this Reddit comment from a use called TheMagecite on parenting during the pandemic might get to some of it: "No.

So lets take my example I have two children one has autism.

What my son desperately needs is social interaction, how do you teach social interaction well without peers? He can't see other children and right now he has such limited exposure to other children he is about to start school and it is a nightmare.

While my son is brilliant in some ways and could read and write at age 3 however his social skills and general understanding are just so far behind. Due to the pandemic normally there would be spots in a special class but so many kids who would have normally progressed just have gone backwards has meant there are zero spots for my child. It also has meant all of the therapies which make the world of difference (and earlier intervention the better) have either been canceled or moved to remote which is no where near as good.

I used to take my son out every weekend and get exposure to kids or take him to water parks and just have fun with them. Now we are sheltered at home with very little to do and we crack out board games but the ipad has probably been his main entertainer. I have work and we have other children but we do make sure it is educational stuff but we still feel tremendous guilt.

I work, we have other children and well while everyone says we have managed to do an amazing job during the pandemic as my son has still progressed which is different from what most other children in his situation have done. My partner and I feel horrible and honestly we are just completely burnt out. We could have done more, we should have done more but I think depression and being burnt out has just fucked us.

I fucking hate myself for this and I probably will feel guilty the rest of my days. I am sick of being told we have done an amazing job considering. Considering Covid doesn't help my child.

This just SUCKS.

Also my child's experience with Autism is probably better than most. I feel horrible for the vast majority which have it worse than me and I can't imagine what they are going through." https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/comments/s8wpsz/covid_p...

Edit: added more context to the comment.

[thatfrenchguy]

This is where the overprotective nature of American parenting comes to bite you: your kid will be fine playing with other kids outside, why not… do it?

[lazide]

Because you’ll be constantly worried about getting Child Protective Services called on you if anything goes wrong or some random neighbor decides stranger danger is real.

[dlp211]

While this does happen, this is not normal and CPS isn't going to do anything to a healthy family that let's their kids go out and play.

[lazide]

I would hope not, but how realistic of a concern it is depends on your neighbors, the local CPS folks, and how well you’d come across to them at the time. It adds a lot of fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

That near as I can tell no one lets a kid out alone is indicating how big a problem it really is. The most I’ve seen here is when they’re paired up and 12+, and here is one of the safest places in the county in a very child friendly place, literally 2 blocks from the police station - and the police here have some of the best reputations in the country.

[ethbr0]

This absolutely depends on local CPS, and they have wide authority within their lane. As they should, considering their mission and the interactions and choices they have to make in bad cases.

But it does mean that a lot is subject to opinion. And once you're on the radar, how do you get off? How do you prove you're a good, safe, responsible parent when the judging worker believes otherwise and has some authority to make that fact?

[dlp211]

By being a good, safe, responsible parent. You all are acting like CPS pulls kids away from stable homes on the daily. That isn't happening. This is a consequence of anecdote over data, where there is one or two widely bad outcomes and everyone reacts to them, when in reality, this almost never happens.

[dlp211]

I, and nearly everyone in my neighborhood let our kids out. I see kids walking up and down my street, by themselves and with their friends every day. Let your kids go out, they and you will be fine.

[lazide]

Where is this?

Here in the bay area, I only know 1-2 areas that are like that, and even then you'll only see teenagers. Might end up moving if one is local! I'm in the lower peninsula area.

[PaulAJ]

Not necessarily. Kids with poor social skills get bullied.

[ethbr0]

I'd counter that getting bullied is a critical component of learning social skills.

Put rails on it with teacher or parent supervision, so it doesn't get out of hand and the worst excesses can be avoided.

But if children can't navigate social situations... they grow up into the adults we are literally talking about.

(Said as someone who had a difficult time socially as a child, and put in and continue to put in considerable work to improve myself)

[DarylZero]

Social situations in which you're NOT bullied are critical to learning social skills.

[ianai]

I think I'd ask that commenter whether that guilt is doing any good for him/her/it. If he's simply unable to do more and it's still not enough, then the problem wasn't going to be solved by anything he could do. He probably still did good. That's unfortunately all anyone can do - good. Can't guarantee success when you "swing that bat", but you can try.

[orwin]

For context, which country do you live in?

[ajmurmann]

I only posted the quote and live in the US. Looking are the Reddit history of the author, I think they likely live in Sidney, Australia.

[solarmist]

Sounds like the US or Canada to me.