I am recently divorced from my wife of 30 years. I have a girlfriend now, but I am not sure if I'll have sufficient time to develop such stories. It's something that I think about.
My wife of 11 years left me this year (I still don't know why). I think about the same thing... I still (probably) have time to find out what it's like to be married 30 years, but I (probably) no longer have the time to experience a 60-year marriage. And that was, honestly, the only serious goal I had for my life, so that sucks.
But, you know, once upon a time a girlfriend of 7 years left me, and I was sad that I'd have to start again. But my mom told me, and she was right, that when the next go-round happened, it's not really like starting again in many ways. Much of the maturation that happens in a relationship is actually carried within to the next relationship. So, although I still envy those who get to stay married, and those who are still married and so might yet stay married, maybe I don't need to believe that my dream is completely dead. If it's not too pretentious, maybe I can hope that I can make kintsugi of myself.
I started this message hoping to commiserate and perhaps encourage, but actually I guess I'm just wallowing. Dealing with grief is still tough, what a surprise.
My wife also left without reason. But if you think about it, it's probably common that this happens without any one standout reason.
My point is that I'll never develop the depth of stories that I had with my ex-wife. Fortunately she and I are still friends (strange after trying to destroy each other for several years), so we get to keep our stories alive.
My wife of 11 years left me this year (I still don't know why). I think about the same thing... I still (probably) have time to find out what it's like to be married 30 years, but I (probably) no longer have the time to experience a 60-year marriage. And that was, honestly, the only serious goal I had for my life, so that sucks.
But, you know, once upon a time a girlfriend of 7 years left me, and I was sad that I'd have to start again. But my mom told me, and she was right, that when the next go-round happened, it's not really like starting again in many ways. Much of the maturation that happens in a relationship is actually carried within to the next relationship. So, although I still envy those who get to stay married, and those who are still married and so might yet stay married, maybe I don't need to believe that my dream is completely dead. If it's not too pretentious, maybe I can hope that I can make kintsugi of myself.
I started this message hoping to commiserate and perhaps encourage, but actually I guess I'm just wallowing. Dealing with grief is still tough, what a surprise.