Right. The comment implies that this kind of emotional commitment used to be the norm, which is very much a [citation needed] kind of claim.
A bit of family lore had it that when some distant ancestors of mine no longer could live independently in old age, one child took in the husband to live with them, and another child, quite distant from the first one, the wife. My mother, upon learning of that arrangement, exclaimed how hard it must have been for that couple to be separated in their final years, only to hear "Quite the opposite! They couldn't stand each other for the longest time."
> Having such a marriage in this day and age is truly a luxury, reserved only for the deepest of lovers.
> Having such a marriage is truly a luxury, reserved only for the deepest of lovers.
One contains a positive claim that something is worse now than it was before, which I think invites dispute and is entirely unnecessary anyway. It's a fine sentiment without the judgement.
This particular claim is just ludicrous, though. The idea that marriage is primarily about love and emotional companionship is an extremely modern idea. See Stephanie Coontz, Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage.
> I always find "this day and age" kind of sentiments extremely eye-rolly, like things were better in some mythic past.
I've encountered this sentiment, several times, lately. In my experience, any mention of a time before now, especially, when they find out that I am "chronologically-challenged," is met by a "Don't tell me about the 'good old days,' Grandpa!".
This day and age, seems to have established a culture of real, nasty, institutionalized, anger at previous generations. It is unlike what I experienced. Younger folks have railed against their seniors for all of human history, but now, it's personal.
I think I understand where a lot of the anger comes from. My generation has caused a lot of damage, and has exhibited almost awe-inspiring levels of selfishness. I'm pretty pissed, and I'm one of them.
But that ain't me. I have lived a long-ish life, and have developed a lot of experience and PoV, as a result. I'm a kind, unselfish person, looking forward to the future, and making the world a better place, for my having lived in it. Not all that is old, is bad. Much is not directly applicable to today's world, but should not be discarded, wholesale. In many cases, only minor adjustments need to be done, in order to make a viewpoint, technique, or philosophy applicable to today's world.
The story is a heart-wrenching one. I have many peers, experiencing a lot of these types of things (One of the things that happens, as we age). Not all of them are handling it as well as the author.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all of us are destined to become "boomers." Every. Single. One. Of. Us. No exceptions. The alternative kind of sucks. One day, we will all be where I am. That is what makes ageism so crazy.
I have been around long enough to watch some folks hoist by their own petard (a classic saying, BTW). They established a corporate culture, that eventually excluded them.
> In my experience, any mention of a time before now, especially, when they find out that I am "chronologically-challenged," is met by a "Don't tell me about the 'good old days,' Grandpa!".
> My generation has caused a lot of damage, and has exhibited almost awe-inspiring levels of selfishness.
With respect, I think some self-reflection may be in order.
I don't really want to turn the comments section of this lovely article into rancor, but yeah, I'm really tired of hearing about the "good old days" from those who gave us the current day; from those who refuse to cede power to us who will actually be here when shxt hits the fan so we can start the long, heavy work of fixing the problems that were created to give you those "good old days"; we who are trying to make-do in a world where those who enjoyed those "good old days" are hoarding every last resource; so those who loved those "good old days" can then come in here and tell us our love isn't even good enough? Come on, man. Your "good old days" came at the cost we're paying now. Give us a break and let us at least try to enjoy what you've left us rather than rub our noses in how good you had it.
Gah.
I apologize for this dumb thing aimed at you. I know it's not your fault. But I think this is what you're coming up against when people tell you not to tell them about the good old days.
I agree. I really understand this. I even mentioned it in my comment. I have a rather ... out-of-band ... life story for this venue. I didn't dance to this age. I was dragged, kicking and screaming, and holding onto the door jams. Frankly, I'm amazed that I'm here, every day.
My past is not really something I want to go back to, thank you very much. I prefer looking forward.
I also don't want it to be rancor. If you look at my commenting history, here, you will find very, very little, and what you do find, will be fairly mild. I'm a reformed troll, and feel that I must atone for being an arsehole of the first water, for many years. I know that I come across as "stuffy," but believe me, when I tell you, that the alternative is not pleasant.
But it is also important to understand that every person is an individual. This is something that I have to struggle with, every single day. It's very easy for me to be intellectually lazy, and dismiss whole swaths of people, simply because they tick one box of many.
I have fast friends, that I would never have had, if I had insisted that they meet my litmus tests. I won't engage them on certain topics, but I know that we have a great deal of mutual respect.
I participate in a community, that is ... eclectic. Its members are quite varied, and we have learned to put aside our differences in pursuit of a common goal. I really wish that the world ran this way, but it's difficult work. Really humbling, but also extremely rewarding. A central tenet is to be of Service. I like to think that I've done OK, here.
The article was written by an old dude that has been dragged through hell, but has also managed to do well for himself and his wife.
Believe it or not, I hear stories like this almost daily. Very few ever make it into the mainstream, and I am a truly privileged person to hear them.
Not all that is old is bad. Not all that is new, is good. The world has been damaged for a long time, and no one of us can fix it all, so we do our part to police our area.
> The world has been damaged for a long time, and no one of us can fix it all
I'm reminded of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" lyrics. I believe he's trying to say that his generation (Boomers) did not start the shit show. It's always been there, with different details.
Life is complicated with many facets, a charitable interpretation is that they are comparing one facet from the past with the present and have found it lacking.
It’s entirely possible that some facets of the past were much better, e.g. today almost half of the US is obese, that certainly is a large change in 50 years…
A bit of family lore had it that when some distant ancestors of mine no longer could live independently in old age, one child took in the husband to live with them, and another child, quite distant from the first one, the wife. My mother, upon learning of that arrangement, exclaimed how hard it must have been for that couple to be separated in their final years, only to hear "Quite the opposite! They couldn't stand each other for the longest time."