[yessirwhatever]

I read a quote today that I think is relevant:

> “Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.”

- William Martin

The idea that one needs to do something memorable every week sounds like a recipe for disaster, burnout at a young age or depression. So no thank you, I'll take my ordinary life which is full of ups and downs.

Sidenote: The fact that a sign up is needed to download a PDF makes me think that you're using this as a way to farm for user data and makes me distrust your intention.

[z5h]

Thank you for this comment!

I'd like to add another detail, which is that people generally accept the idea that "deathbed perspective" is a highly privileged perspective, but with no real justification for this position. Here's a good article that questions this idea: https://aeon.co/essays/why-is-the-deathbed-perspective-consi...

[wnolens]

I always thought it was kind of silly to live your life so that for 1 day at the end of 80 years, you have some pleasant thoughts (assuming you are know you will die and aren't absolutely in miserable pain anyway).

I get that it's more a heuristic for living a good life. But life is so uncertain and your goals subject to change significantly every 5-10 years.

[BeetleB]

You don't need to wait till you're at your deathbed. You can do this assessment every 5-10 years. When you're past 40, you've lived quite a bit. You can look back and see what was worth it and what wasn't.

For me, stuff I regretted wasting time on while younger (e.g. too many video games) bring back much better memories than doing things I (mistakenly) thought had more value. Quitting gaming in my early 20's was, in retrospect, not a great idea.

But yeah, I agree with you somewhat. A lot of people who live to a fairly old age actually have said that if you live long enough, you'll realize that "nothing matters". So probably not best to put too much weight on their perspective.

[auslegung]

I saw a tree yesterday. It was beautiful. The sun was close to setting, the sky was completely clear. The color of the sky went from a beautiful clear blue down to a very pale almost green color at the horizon, backdropping the tree. I may remember this the rest of my life.

[psychoslave]

Also remember none of those things would have been possible without you observing it.

https://www.nsta.org/q-if-tree-falls-forest-and-theres-no-on...

[auslegung]

That’s not true. That’s a very human-centric way to view things. If no humans exist things would still happen. If there was no life anywhere things would still happen.

[psychoslave]

I think this response comes from an inter-misunderstanding. In this context, "none of these things" referred to "none of this perceptions". Things like "color" and "beauty" only exists through the prism of entities which somehow feel them.

Only through solipsism one might think that nothing would exist without the current conscientiousness stream.

[matwood]

> The idea that one needs to do something memorable

I agree, which is why I try to view the little things as memorable. Laying on the couch with my dog or cooking for my wife is a little thing, but amazing and memorable. Doom scrolling, not so much.

[shawa_a_a]

I’ve recently incorporated exactly this into my journaling routine and find it a delight to look back on. At the end of the day I’ll be sure to write down one or two perfectly run-of-the-mill, but joyful things that happened to me, or that I noticed that day.

For example meeting a particularly friendly dog on the metro, a peculiar piece of graffiti, or just something a friend said that I found particularly funny.

It’s these small little moments that when stitched together over time that make up a “life well lived” in my opinion, much more so than setting large lofty goals or striving for doing “memorable” things.

[Fnoord]

So, I have a family. When I do something memorable in a weekend which involves social action (such as going to the zoo with the family, or a birthday party), I need to recover from it. I can't do something similar next weekend, I need to relax the weekend after. Maybe its the fact I am autistic.

I don't fancy the life calendar stuff. I am very curious by nature, and curiosity I find the most important in 'doing'. I really don't need to stimulate that, just like I don't need psychedelics or weed to get open minded (been there, done it).

[stronglikedan]

I'm the same. I've attributed it to being a natural introvert. Extroverts seem to gain energy through social interactions, and can do one social event after another. Introverts seem to expend energy, and need a recharge between.

[vincentmarle]

Mindfulness (what you’re basically describing) does not conflict with memento mori. When you realize that this tomato could be the last tomato you’ll be eating, having the conversation with your kid be the last conversation you’ll be having etc etc you’ll fully appreciate each moment in life as if it could be your last.

[javert]

I think a death-centric way of thinking about life is unhealthy.

The fact of death isn't what makes things valuable or meaningful.

The fact that our time span to enjoy things is limited also isn't what makes them valuable or meaningful.

The quote is describing much more than mindfulness. It's saying that values and meaning are right in front of us. To reduce that to mindfulness misses the value in what it's saying.

[krageon]

> Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a product of an industry seeking to capitalise on the yoga pants (and later suits) demographic, to great success. Let's not legitimise it by using it as an example of healthy thinking, because it's not.

[wobblybubble]

Mindfulness is an English translation of the Buddhist word “sati” which Buddhists use to describe one particular quality of meditation. To dismiss it because some people have coopted it would be like, well, to dismiss the yoga tradition because of “yoga pants”.

[Graffur]

Can we dismiss yoga for silliness anyway?

[SamBam]

Just because something valuable can also be exploited by greedy capitalists does not stop it from being valuable.

There are some legitimate reasons to be wary of the push for mindfulness -- for example, when it is pushed by employers to try and increase employee satisfaction and retention, in lieu of actually improving their quality of life -- but that certainly doesn't mean the practice itself is bad.

[shantnutiwari]

The OP is talking about enjoying the small things in life, which is clearly not mindfulness.

>> When you realize that this tomato could be the last tomato you’ll be eating

You're confusing Stoicism with Mindfulness.

[SamBam]

There is some overlap. There is the Buddhist practice of Maraṇasati (mindfulness of death, death awareness), which is very similar to the Stoic practice of remembering that death or loss can strike at any time. Similarly, Vipassana, or Insight Meditation, which is one of the forerunners to the westernized mindfulness meditation, includes a focus on impermanence.

[gexla]

Great comment.

Seems tech people love them some memorizing. Live a memorable moment, load it into an Anki deck, then review memorable moments for the remainder of your days. Do one last review right before you check out.

[b0tch7]

Sam Harris has a brilliantly balanced take on this subject: https://youtu.be/GL2uFYi86kk

Memento mori doesn't mean every moment needs to be absolutely epic. But a mindful approach can alleviate daily stresses, concerns, fights etc. You're gonna die one day, so just relax and enjoy this moment, whatever you happen to be doing!

[bradydjohnson]

This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.