[avmich]

Some good points, but some are less so.

> If the answer does NOT include "successfully raise well-adjusted children in a 2-parent household", then don't even waste your time with a marriage.

A good counter argument could be - what if your plans could change? Should you keep this change of plans possible?

> You are the one screening an abundance of applicants for the job position of "spouse", looking to disqualify the bulk of them.

Don't forget the rather plausibly-looking model when the better you are, the higher bar you have to satisfy you, so of course you'll have to disqualify the discouraging bulk and be left with the pool smaller and harder the more achieving you are.

> Never repatriate your new spouse back to the United States.

If you're planning to live in US, this advice may cost you dearly. A woman disconnected from her roots and struggling to find her new place in society is something I wouldn't recommend to be near as the cause of issues.

[post_from_work]

>>>A good counter argument could be - what if your plans could change? Should you keep this change of plans possible?

A multi-year dating period is advisable. Definitely don't RUSH into popping out babies, but don't wait too long either. That's a difficult needle to thread. But I would think figuring out whether to propagate your genes in an supportive social construct, or not, is something a man has figured out by his early 30's.

>>>Don't forget the rather plausibly-looking model when the better you are, the higher bar you have to satisfy you

Hence why knowing YOURSELF is so important in mate-hunting. A high-flying extrovert might require a dime-piece social butterfly "trophy wife" as essential for impressing his peers, and needs that external validation. YMMV. But IME men "date down" to an adequate woman far far more than women do, so guys insisting on ONLY the absolutely cream of the cream for a spouse are an outlier, and unlikely to be seriously getting advice on HN for that search.

>>>A woman disconnected from her roots and struggling to find her new place in society is something I wouldn't recommend to be near as the cause of issues.

Exactly. Actually a former fling of mine was in just such a situation. Spent years in the Atlanta suburbs a bored housewife. She couldn't work because they didn't have a second car. She felt so isolated and useless that she divorced her husband and moved back to Japan. Now she's 40 and wondering why nobody here wants a serious relationship. shrug