[BatteryMountain]

No man you are right. There is nothing arcane here: sql is just an ugly and unintuitive language. I think sql works the opposite ways normal brains work so unless you are doing a simple query, you have to be able to parse and simulate what sql will do in your head. After doing functions/MV's with CTE's that are 100+ lines per query daily, you kinda get used to but also not. I've concluded that although sql is awesome, it is also full of warts.

What helps me is to code all of it in lower case and use something like that Datagrip with a good theme. That way you get something that is readible, colour coded and has autocomplete (very good with joins). It's the only way I've managed to keep my sanity as my experience with it grew. Bad data models doesn't reallllly impact it that much, sql is still sql even with a clean model.

I've built mini database engines in the past because of my frustrations with sql but I still use and prefer an actual rdms as opposed to trying to reinvent the wheel. There are so many features we take for granted it's not even funny. Try building your own production-ready storage system and you would quickly appreciate how deep the rabbit hole really goes.