[cwitty88]

I feel stuck. I am a C-level executive but dread every day of my job. I want to change careers at this point but have a family that depends on my income to get by. However, the company I work for is actually really great, I just happen to be burnt out.

[lghh]

> family that depends on my income to get by

I doubt they depend on your income as much as they are used to a certain type of life. Do you think your family could get by with less in exchange for a happier family member?

[cwitty88]

Most definitely. It feels selfish in some ways to make my family change their lifestyle just because I'm whining that I hate my job. On the other hand my wife tells me this exact thing all the time.

[willcipriano]

Listen to your wife here, the subtext of that comment might be that your employment is straining your relationship. I had to learn the same lesson recently, and with three kids, you have too much to lose to ignore any warning signs there. Have you ever sat down and really taken a look at what lifestyle compromises you'd have to make? It might be fairly superficial. Cook at home a few more times a week, make it a family thing. It isn't all downside living a bit more humbly.

[mbrodersen]

Liste to your wife. She is right. Having a depressed, burned out husband will impact her as well.

[WORMS_EAT_WORMS]

Wish you best. Grass is always greener, but, as crap as it is, income and savings can be greenest.

Edit: Saw you deleted your post...

Long ways to go but you're crushing it... I'm not sure your location, income, or potential equity pay-day opportunities, but your monthly overhead is quite low for the family of 5 - congrats that is so huge.

A long time ago, I used to work as a cashier at a grocery store. I did it because I was in college, but for most of my co-workers, it was their permanent 9-5. As ruthless as it sounds, in their world, these minor irrelevant/annoying day-to-day things such as a SKEW/PLU not in the system, running low on bags, or someone being slow for a cash drop became these world-shaking miserable events that could totally make or break their day. I guess what I'm trying to say is people create these boxed realities and define their own problems on what makes the day great or not. I remind myself often to "realign" what matters. The easiest route? Stop caring and take things a little less seriously. Your day will get exponentially better and your day-to-day stresses can become less important. The world is not going to stop spinning.

Obviously there is no good answer on burn out or you wouldn't be here. I personally found having a super passionate hobby helped (you can force something for you to obsess over every single day and week that is not work or even family related). Then find budget to outsource as many other things in your life as possible to make your plate tiny (e.g.: stop looking at bills for a year if your wife can wrangle solo, long-term financial plan go yolo blind with a trusted advisor, annoying chores like cleaning or maintenance pay for, etc...). You can't control it all... so just make your world as small as possible for what you can personally manage. Then of course working out and go cold-turkey on pr0n. Getting on a super strict schedule if you aren't already too can help. It sucks, but no late nights and no missed early mornings.

Change in my experience is always good, even if you are making the wrong choice. Just changing a setting on where you work from in the office or at home can make the world of difference. You could just say F that job and just do something else even if it's the same role somewhere else, and I promise you it will be 100% better. Maybe try that before blowing it all up to a less-paying job or doing a complete industry bail.

Burn out is like an injury of the mind and took me a full year to recover and "realign". The passionate young-buck mojo mindset you probably compare with is never coming back to a full 100% so get used to it and be reasonable about your injury.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Your words got to me. I promise it will get better and easier. Best of luck and hope you see this and helps just 1%.

[cwitty88]

Sorry for deleting, after I posted I couldn't decide if it is good to put that out there or not so I decided to pull it back, but it looks like you got the info needed out of it.

I really appreciate the kind words. I was thinking similar things about the people from the grocery store - when I worked menial jobs I would get stressed over silly things. I think that is just my personality type. I think I need to quit taking the job and myself so seriously.

I really need to start working out, I'm sure that would make a huge difference in my mental health. I'm sure going cold-turkey off prOn would also help with some mental health healing as well.

I'm bipolar to boot which makes these decisions harder to make since I can't decide if I am being rational or over-reacting to something. I think trying somewhere new could be beneficial. I've been at this company for nearly 7 years which is a damn long time in the software industry.

Thanks again, cheers!

[bradlys]

Did you really raise your lifestyle to some kind of regular 7-figure burn? Seems insane to me to do such. Outside of a mortgage - I feel like most things at that level are… extremely nice to have and not really necessity. I know many who do the private schools, exotic vacations, nice cars, etc etc. Their burn outside mortgage is still not anywhere near 7-fig. So… what ya doing that’s so insanely expensive? Buying a new GT2RS every year or something?

[acid303]

They might depend on you financially but you're much more to them than a source of money. They surely don't want you to suffer from depression.