[burticlies]

I think this speaks to how when learning a concept, just having it framed in the right way can really help.

I’d heard of the Ferber method before and we tried it a bit to no success. But just hearing the same idea framed as “the parent checking back in regular like a metronome”, rather than “the baby needs to learn to self settle” just clicked in my head.

Thanks for the tips, will keep trying this and see if it sorts out the late night wakes too.

[eitland]

Seems like you already have the most important part settled from the start: you care about the child :-)

And, since you mention it: like a metronome is a good way to think about it. I used to use a digital timer or a phone but anything with fine grained resolution is fine I think, the point seems to be to be predictable.

Also I try to remember to point out that I go back also if the kid doesn't cry.

Some people think if the kid is silent then they are about to fall asleep and we should not wake them.

In my experience if the child feels safe they fall asleep with no problems even if I walk in and out.

On the other hand, if they haven't fallen asleep that will teach them that if they don't cry I won't look after them, at least that is what I think.