[nlh]

This is a great example - thank you. Rephrasing as a "you should have", it would read:

"You should have been able to finish this in 2-4 weeks, but it took you 6 months. What went wrong?"

That's actually useful feedback, I think. It highlights that the giver believes the recipient has abilities that exceed the demonstrated result.

[41b696ef1113]

My one quibble with this example -I sincerely hope there was feedback given the entire duration of those six months. Being told far after the fact that you are doing X thing poorly is a kick to the self-esteem.

[rdtwo]

Oh absolutely, it was pretty clear that this person wasn’t on track 4 weeks in. And after that you have to keep communicating that we were expecting more progress… what are the issues will you make the deadline etc.