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by sangnoir 1627 days ago
That was commendable of you to take time to explain to them in 1:1, but my suspicion is that it does not scale.

Suppose this wasn't the last time it happened - how much of your time are you willing to put into explaining to person after person after person how their behavior is freaking you out? If it happens in different places, several times a month (or week), it can get pretty old quickly, and that may shorten your patience.
1 comments
csdvrx 1627 days ago
You're right that's it's not scalable and that my patience is finite.

But, surprisingly enough, people SHARE information, and the person that has learned that I'm creeped might even volunteer to tell the other person in their own words why it's a problem, and how to solve it.

Also, an office is not hundreds of people in the same root. So I solved my problem quickly and efficiently using the old-way of "speaking about it" to the concerned party instead of escalating to HR/managers who may be tempted to use their giant banhammer simply because they don't know how to peacefully solve the issue using ... words!

Simple problems call for simple solutions.

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sangnoir 1626 days ago
> Also, an office is not hundreds of people in the same root.

It's really hard to special-case the office when you're creeped grabbing lunch at Panera, in the street, while shopping groceries, at the movies, in the subway, at the laundromat, while hiking, at the nightclub, while walking the dog... you get the idea. Women endure ridiculous amount of harassment/creeps- the office is the last place they should have to endure more of it and having to resolve it on top of it.

I have no qualms having such issues escalated to HR -perhaps they have gaps in their training that have to be addressed to prevent recurrence with another non-neurotypical person in the future. I do not think it's always advisable to engage 1:1 with someone who was being creepy from a distance: what if they are still creepy/erratic/become agitated, (and not understanding) in close quarters?

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csdvrx 1626 days ago
> Women endure ridiculous amount of harassment/creeps- the office is the last place they should have to endure more of it and having to resolve it on top of it.

Yes, but escalating comes with the risk of a false positive / getting ostracized.

So I acted following my own best interests.

> what if they are still creepy/erratic/become agitated, (and not understanding) in close quarters?

Our diversity policy doesn't extend to people having severe and obvious mental issues :)

As for outside the office, it's a judgement call. I may act differently if harassed by a drunk homeless person.

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