[dazeandconfuse]

I'm not sure. I'm glad he told me, otherwise I wouldn't have known I was undershooting his expectations. I did make mistakes that made the project taking longer than it had to. I guess if I want to keep working here I'll need to find a way to make fewer mistakes like that in the future.

[PragmaticPulp]

> I guess if I want to keep working here I'll need to find a way to make fewer mistakes like that in the future.

Communication is the answer.

If you think you're going to quietly go back to your laptop and solve all of these problems by being more careful, you'll probably end up disappointed.

You should take this as a learning opportunity to improve your communication skills. Communicate early and often. Ask for feedback. Ask for clarification. Ask for code review. Ask for a performance review.

Also: There is some good advice in this comment section, but there's also some absolutely terrible advice. Please ignore all of the low-effort comments insisting that you should quit or the comments suggesting that your boss's boss is malicious "gaslighting" you. This may be your first stumbling block in the workplace, but it won't be your last. If you make a habit of shutting down, quitting, or becoming resentful in these situations then you're never going to learn how to build actual healthy relationships in the workplace. Do as much as you can to learn from this, but make sure you do move on as quickly as possible. Don't let it eat you up.

[hunter-gatherer]

To piggy back on this, you will most definitely work with and for people who are malicious and gaslight you. Not saying that is the case here, but even if it is, a valuable skill is learning how to cope through it and work with those individuals. It isn't easy, but it is more sustainable than just being a victim.

[strken]

You want a strategy that works regardless. E.g. if your skip-level manager tells you a project should have been completed a while ago, and this is the first time you're hearing about it, it's better to say "let me follow up on that after the meeting and get back to you, because it's a bit different from the timeline we've set within the project" than to push the blame onto your direct manager, get defensive to your skip-level manager, apologise, or agree to spend the weekend working. Get some breathing room, put together a paper trail of emails and meeting notes, and let everyone cool down.

[nerdponx]

I've had modest success with this kind of thing. Managing to stay calm and maintain your internal composure is very important in the moment.

In a situation like this you need to be able to think on your feet and choose your words carefully, which can be very difficult if you have reverted to a defensive or fearful "fight or flight" mind state.

I personally have benefited a lot from biofeedback and meditation over the years, if only because it has given me the tools to recognize when I am in a fearful state and calm myself down.

The "fear is the mind-killer" mantra from Dune is not really fiction!

[emerongi]

Mistakes are a part of life. Do not be ashamed of mistakes, you will only limit yourself. I'm sure you're already aware of this, but sometimes we all need a reminder.

As for the project, you should consider how much mentorship you received. If there was none, then obviously a high degree of mistakes is natural, especially for someone new to "professional software development" (if such a thing exists). If there was a lot of it and you blatantly ignored it, you should take responsibility for it.

Most importantly, keep a healthy work-life balance. It's easy to forget it, especially when first entering the workforce and thinking that you need to "prove yourself". Most of us are average; if you are too, accept it and keep living as best as you can. The 10x coders can keep on 10x-ing, but the world depends on the average person.

[cgio]

I think your last statement indicates how bad that feedback session reflects, not on you, but on the “boss”. On the one hand, we all have bad moments, that might have been theirs, which sounds pretty terrible though, especially in context of you having limited experience. On the other hand, while if you discuss he/she would probably apologise, it sounds exactly like the kind of boss that will throw you under the bus when the going gets tough.

Early days. One of the key things you get with experience is the cold blood to wait some things out and to not let minor or major incidents get under your skin. If/when this becomes a pattern assess it against the rest of your experience and decide on your best path forward.

[water8]

I think just about every new developer makes mistakes that make a project take longer than it had to but this is how you learn and improve for next time.