[kjs3]

That is some world-class victim blaming right there. I've taken a screenshot of it and put it in one of my presos as an example.

I successfully coach 'impression' with my employees all the time. It's usually something like "you say 'um' a lot when you speak and it can distract from an otherwise great presentation; lets work on that" or "let's see what we can do to improve your business writing so your message is clearer". Sometimes it's "you need to practice better hygiene", "lets find a better way of expressing your opinions than calling your coworker a 'fucking idiot' in front of the team" or "your behavior is objectively creepy/offensive". Usually, when made aware, an adult will make an effort at least to improve; but there's always someone like you who says "everyone else in the world is the problem, not me...I should be able to do anything I want". And then you start managing them out the door.

[valarauko]

It's unclear who you're holding responsible here for the victim blaming - the parent you're responding to, or the GP? In the subthread OP's story, some people came forward to say they felt uneasy with him standing behind them while they worked - and he was let go the next day. In your own comment, you said that most reasonable adults try to adjust their behavior when given feedback. At no point in the story was the offending person ever given feedback of any kind in the intervening weeks. In this particular case, he was let go the very next day after the reports, and OP's not sure if they even gave him any feedback about this. How does this make sense? Does his behavior rise to the level of creating a hostile work environment for most reasonable people? Was an investigation conducted to understand what the exact behavior was? Perhaps he used to silently watch all his coworkers, male and female, and only the women complained? Its definitely unsettling and annoying, but does rise to a fireable offense the very next day after being reported?

[kjs3]

It's unclear if you actually read what you're replying to. I'm obviously responding to the parent I responded to, not the GP. And you apparently missed where the GP referenced a litany of reasons why the guy fired was an undesirable employee, and then "eventually" the women came forward and apparently that was the last straw. Focusing on the women, and completely ignoring everything else, is pretty telling.

Let the downmods begin...

[valarauko]

Well, to be fair, you made a point about how the parent was "victim blaming" and that their comment was worthy of teaching others. I failed to see what was so wrong in the point they were raising, that the apparent reason he was let go was based on the seemingly weakest argument against him. Indeed, you have chosen the least charitable interpretation of mine & the parent's comment, that we completely ignored everything else, and assumed that is pretty telling of our character.

It felt like the complaints from the women was simply the excuse needed to fire an employee that he wanted to get rid of anyway - which doesn't sit right with me or many people here. Your comment also suggests that by raising the point, the parent was making a classic case of "victim blaming", which is where you and I diverge. Perhaps his action of watching people working silently rises to the level of a hostile work environment, but that should have been established by a review, which didn't happen here. As others in the thread have pointed out, touching is perhaps a fireable offense, but looking at people work by itself(some women brought it up, but was the behavior restricted to women?) deserves at least some questioning. Was he looking at peoples' screens or them? You are content to handwave the allegations since it affected an employee you felt deserved to be fired over other shortcomings anyway.

[kjs3]

Once again, focusing on 'the women', making them the problem and not the guy being a creep, and dismissing everything else related, is pretty telling. Gaslighting, I think, is what they call it these days. But we're clearly not going to agree on this.