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by JetAlone
1626 days ago
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Yeah, there's a "dark triad" of Japanese-bred terms for given behaviours that usually occur together. -Hikikomori is a shut-in. -NEET is someone who is "Not in Employment, Education or Training". -Otaku means basically a "super-geek", an enthusiast about something. They happen a lot in Japanese society and the terms got recognized and coined here, but they are not exclusive to Japan. I believe, as a foreign resident, that the more "Tokyo-like" the conditions of life in a place get, the greater the pressure is to embrace this dark triad. Going out to spend time in a crowded noisy polluted modern city space full of judging eyes is unsettling, so living as a hikikomori offers some shelter from that. Long work hours and demanding extra expectations, and things like academic anxiety are exhausting so NEET life gives an expensive way out. We are all wired to love to learn about and play with something. In a world where people don't communicate positively with each other much passing by in the streets, and you have to sit in institutions all day with other people suffering these pressures and not communicating positively with us, it's not so strange to lean harder on a fascination with something to cope. |
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Tokyo really isn't that, though. Of big cities it's probably one of the most comfortable to live in. I live walking distance to Shinjuku station, which is the most transited train station in the world, and rarely does a car pass by my apartment. Other than the occasional ambulance there's basically no audible noise from indoors. Sure, you can walk towards the center and end up in the middle of a big crowd - or you can just not do that and spend most of your time in smaller neighborhoods. Convenience stores provide all basic necessities a minute or two's walk away, you have supermarkets within walking distance without having to delve into any dense crowds. You can take main streets to travel around the city and pass by a bunch of people, or you can step 20 meters into a side street and rarely cross paths with anyone. There's parks to relax in all over the city. And if you don't mind taking a few detours and avoiding rush hour, you can get anywhere in Tokyo via the train network (or even buses!) while getting to sit down the whole way, never ending up in an uncomfortably full car.
That said - yes, people don't talk to each other in Tokyo by default, and that takes a toll. I've had more random people talk to me on the street in my visits to Osaka than in 7 years living in Tokyo. To socialize here, you need to find groups with similar interests. It took me a while to figure out how this all worked, but for three or so years now I've been going to anime music and jazz jam sessions and related events, and I even play in a couple amateur bands (modulo COVID). If you don't put in the effort to find these kinds of groups, you can certainly end up quite lonely in Tokyo.