| I think I'm going to take a slightly different approach to some of the comments and the article. Notes: My wife is a long-time primary grade (think Kinder - 2) teacher and I've got 3 kids, 1 fully baked and 2 in college. 1st, regarding Agassi, there are few folks in the history of the world who get to #1 in something and have a "normal" or perhaps "well balanced" life. It takes a lot of innate skill/ability/talent, drive, luck and the willingness to sacrifice. For a really chilling take, look at Ichiro Suzuki's upbringing (baseball). From a parent's perspective, at least mine, I tried to strike a balance between letting my kids choose their own paths while trying to help avoid closing too many doors. Some kids change A LOT and it would be a shame (to me at least) if they made a short-sighted decision at age 13 that prevented them from doing something later that they might decide they love and are good at. And the reality is, despite the occasional "against all the odds" stories out there where somebody made a late decision to pivot, most of the time the odds win. I also coached youth sports for a number of years and I struggled because one of my kids was a pretty good athlete but not super intense about it and a bit of a late developer. It meant they got selected out because of these things. I could have forced them to practice more, more intensely, etc. It turned OK because they ended up getting cut from a soccer team (twice no less), decided to work stick with it, lucked into a spot on a good team w/ good coaching and ended up as the varsity keeper on their high school team (well, until COVID became a thing). Like it or not, the world is super competitive. As a parent, it's hard when you see something that you know will normally close a door for your child. Many times parents are pushing their kids because they themselves are competitive. Other times, it's just trying to keep options open for your child. From a distance, they're indistinguishable. Finally, the education system is not perfect for all children and situations. It's an XX% solution (pick your number). This didn't sound like a typical ADHD situation. It clearly didn't fit this situation. Ultimately I see it as helping your children position themselves for situations that are right for them. The hard part is that what's right for them is pretty opaque until they're about 20... |
I think this is a choice, at least partly. If you have the good fortune to have been born in a place where the median income affords reasonable housing and healthy food and medical care, you're kind of set, and can get on with enjoying life and finding fulfilling relationships. As long as you're not hung up on having fancier things/higher status than the next guy.