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So, I think we've found some common ground here. I'm going to say two things, offer a simple apology and then make you an offer. 1. You assume that I don't know what it's like not to be able to communicate or make myself understood. While I don't have a comorbid intellectual disability, which it sounds like your son probably has, I have had one particular period of "Autistic Burnout" in my adult life where I was reduced to a shell of my former self. I couldn't articulate complex thoughts, couldn't take care of myself, didn't bathe, didn't eat, could not make myself understood to the people I lived with, etc. I've recovered in some ways, but in some ways I likely never will -- I no longer have the capacity I had when I was younger. I understand that that's not exactly the same thing as your son, who has gone his whole life without the comfort of a mutually intelligible conversation; but I hope you can hear that as an Autistic adult I have had experiences that would allow me to understand your son better _in some limited ways_ than a neurotypical person ever could. 2. The thing with the comorbid intellectual disability is really important. I'm not a huge fan of the DSM, but at least here it's how people get medically diagnosed and the DSM is very careful to say "Autism is NOT intellectual disability, though they do co-occur frequently". From what you've described, your son sounds like an "extremely high support needs autistic person with a comorbid intellectual disability" most technically. I get that "severe autism" can be shorthand for that, but the chilling effect on the global discourse around Autism is that people don't understand the distinction, and conflate intellectual disability (or speech-impairing apraxia) with autism itself. 3. I've reflected here a bit and I apologize for my defensive reaction to your original post. I didn't appreciate the intention behind using quotation marks around the term "severe", I read that differently than you intended it and I apologize. 4. You need help and support and I'm splitting hairs over word choice over here, I get that we're coming at this from two very different perspectives and I'd like to further apologize for not being as empathic as I'd like to have been towards your first post. I'd like to offer you my help and support if there's anything I can do or any insights I can provide or any introductions I can make to other folks in the neurodiversity movement -- or even if just a conversation outside of this kinda hostile environment would be of interest, please let me know. My email address is my username here at gmail. Thanks, and have a great night! |