[galbar]

> I've realized that game development is a great coping mechanism to help you feel safe and in control. You are the master of your own universe.

This is THE reason I started programming when I was 11 years old! I was always dreaming of this universe that I would create. I even tried to make an RPG game using Game Maker. I stopped when, after a couple of weeks, I had a barely working fighting system and nothing else. I learned that games are huge!

Later, while I was in university, I implemented four gamedev frameworks. Every time I decided I was done, I would develop a small game with it and I always found something I didn't like. A few months later I would start from scratch having learned something new and trying to find a solution to what I hadn't liked. At some point I realized I enjoyed better writing the framework than the actual game.

Funnily enough, I never went into game dev professionally. Although I still implement libraries that nobody, other than me, uses from scratch in my free time.

[lttlrck]

Haha. Similar for me. I spent months and month writing a 2D 360° scrolling game engine in x86 assembler, and a level builder. I drew all the sprites and tiles, labored over animation, parallax, collision detection, multichannel audio and optimized the bejeezus out of it so it ran as efficiently as possible on my 486.

Turns out I don't like designing games, I built just enough level to test everything, got bored and started all over again... haha.

[syntheweave]

I realized - in the midst of a professional career that had a dry spell - that I do enjoy some parts of game design, but the type of game I should design should not be too heavy on overt rules, stats, and systems, and instead work on the intuitive and holistic parts.

I had to learn what was enjoyable about it by first burning out on what I didn't. This is a form of artistic journey that spans all mediums. Games often have many layers. If you don't really know why you're adding a certain layer, like a level design, or cutscenes, it instantly turns into a morale crusher that can spiral into ever-increasing scope(by way of "it's not good yet, add more"). And it's easy to fall into that with vague justifiers like "every game is better with more stuff" or "I spent time on it so I'm gonna use it". Eliminating contradictory elements removes morale crushers, but can leave the game barebones and underdesigned. The solution to that is to inject themes and principles that suggest the specific possibilities. Then you are simply including the elements that cohere to principle, which quickly "develops" the game out of the tech demo stage. In the blink of an eye it can go from nothing to a great game, if the groundwork was set up well.

Of course, most games are products, and products need product features, which take things away from the artistic goal. But if you can build it small enough, it can be a hobby :)