[gxespino]

"It's simply not possible for an average person like me to make that kind of money."

Putting these sort of limitations on yourself, from my experience, will dampen the effort that you put in to achieve new levels, if you even try at all. That reduced effort will result in exactly what you predicted for yourself.

So, begs the question, what sort of effort have you put in to increase your pay past the median dev salary.

[giantg2]

Masters, extra hours, working above my level, taking on extra responsibility, volunteering for initiatives at work, working on personal projects in my own time, multiple certs, business acumen certs, etc.

The number of opportunities to make significantly more money are exceedingly rare. Especially with family constraints like not being allowed to move or no longer able to work extensive unplanned extra hours due to childcare responsibilities.

[gxespino]

You have the resume for sure.

Have you worked on your social/emotional intelligence/interviewing skills?

[giantg2]

I interview well. I'm slow at the code screen since I don't get to specialize in any language/stack (working 8 or so apps in multiple languages/stacks). It seems they just pick random languages too.. like my last code screen was in JS, which I haven't used in 5 years (other than to brush up 2 days before the interview). My soft skills are generally good.

There aren't a lot of opportunities in my area (Philly region). Even many remote jobs are not worth applying to (only going to switch if it pays at least $100k).