What kind of doctor do you go to with this? I’ve never gone to anyone other than my primary care doctor and the spectrum of titles mental health professionals have makes it all very confusing to me.
What's pretty brutal is that the heathcare system is basically set up to just destroy folks with ADHD, or at least, I should say, that has been my experience, and it seems to be shared. Personally, after almost a year of trying, on the recommendation of a friend, I talked with https://www.donefirst.com/, and then after that also talked to my (new, for unrelated reasons) PCP.
I originally went to see a normal therapist because of some issues I was having; ADHD wasn't even on my radar. She's the one who first pointed me at the issue, and I didn't even believe her at first! Once I read up on ADHD and realized that other people's descriptions matched my experience perfectly, I just Googled for an ADHD specialist near where I live; the first one didn't return my call, but I managed to set up an initial evaluation appointment with the second one. This was out-of-network and a bit expensive, but totally worth it; I would have probably given up before finding somebody available in-network.
Once I had my initial diagnosis, the ADHD specialist pointed me at a bunch of resources. Learning more about ADHD made a massive difference right away—just reading other people's experiences helped clear some painful guilt and cognitive dissonance. He also referred me to a psychiatrist in case I wanted to try medication; I wasn't sure at first, but after doing a bunch of reading, decided to give it a go. The combination of learning, building new skills/habits and medication ended up making a massive change to my life, a lot more than I expected.
From what I've heard, people have very mixed experiences around ADHD with their primary care doctors or even general mental health specialists; I expect that finding somebody who actively specializes in ADHD can help avoid some of these. Going out-of-network was expensive (maybe $1500 or $2000 for initial consultations + follow-up appointments in the first year), but it made such a change that I'm sure it was a major win even in purely financial terms.
Primary care docs should be able to walk with you on this. After pushing my doc a little bit, he gave me a questionnaire to complete and two weeks later I was starting different medications. There are all kinds of storied on reddit.com/r/adhd of people having issues with their doc. A psychiatrist would have a deeper expertise in managing ADHD if you can get access to one.
Like AJayWalker said, bring it up with your PCP. Just say: I think I may have AD(H)D, can you give me some recommendations of who to talk to? My PCP had a few, and I had to call around, because some weren't taking new patients. Some PCPs will treat it directly, but many won't. You're better off going to a place that deals with that and other psych issues frequently.
I was lucky to have a teacher refer me to a mental health clinic, where a Licensed Mental Health Counselor was the one to write my prescriptions, rather than a doctor. That may be a good place to start. Otherwise you could bring it up with your primary care provider perhaps.