[Benjammer]

>What are some ways to break out of this mode

I would guess the best answer here is to write down everything. Keep a journal. Write down events as soon after they happen as possible, write down your thoughts about the event, write down your emotions and connect them to the events that generate them.

I think a somewhat decent mental model here is to think of our brains as write-only memory. Every time you remember something, your brain rewrites the memory. You, on some level, are experiencing the event/thought/feeling again. When you think about what you felt during a past event, you are mostly feeling your current reaction to the memory, and not as much tapping into past feelings as you might think.

One broad example of this is what people call "type 2 fun." This describes events that may not produce positive emotions in the moment, usually some kind of hard physical tasks/achievements. But, looking back, these events produce positive emotions when remembering the event and the accomplishment.

[DougN7]

I always thought this happened because we don’t remember pain which is nice.

[bckr]

> type 2 fun

Great comment, and this phrase is going in my pocket.

> write-only memory

Could this be The Secret(tm) to transmuting base lead into gold? Rewriting the very memories that make up one's life.

[Benjammer]

For anyone else who isn't familiar, type 1 fun is where it's a fun experience and you have fun memories of it. Type 2 is a not-fun experience where you look back on the accomplishment fondly. Type 3 "fun" is a tongue-in-cheek description of something where you didn't have fun doing it, and also don't have fond memories of it.

[jrumbut]

Is there not a type for things that were fun to do at the time but are unhappy memories?

I have a few of those ;)

[datavirtue]

Team building events: type 3.

[datavirtue]

Ah yes, the suffering of Krav Maga...and the joy of it being done and remembered.