[_delirium]

> Yet when talking to boys, people generally don't say - "Oh, what a handsome boy you are, and how nicely you dress!"

I agree it's not symmetrical, but I do hear this kind of thing directed at male children pretty frequently, especially in the relatives/family-friends type setting. "Oh what a handsome young man you have!" isn't uncommon at all. Though I do tend to associate it with older women, for some reason; at least as a young lad myself, I think it's a comment I heard mostly from older aunts.

[overgryphon]

Boys generally only hear that sort of statement from family members at family gatherings.

Young girls hear how pretty their dress or hair or smile is from just about anyone upon introduction. They are put into ballet classes where they learn to act pretty, into girl scouts where they do traditional arts and crafts rather than the camping and leadership that boy scouts focuses on, and are given play makeup until around ten or so when they are encouraged to learn how to put real makeup on. Many young girls know what dieting is, and start doing so in intermediate school- before they have even stopped growing. Young girls are supposed to behave appropriately as such, while loud, rude, and overly rambunctious behavior from boys are tolerated as "boys will be boys". All of this is anecdotal from my own experiences, but I believe to be true in many areas of the US.

The extent to which young girls are raised to be pretty is on a completely different level of young boys.

[chrischen]

It is at a different level, but only because it's simply more practical in society for a girl to be pretty than it is for a boy.

You'd have to make everyone ignore beauty to disincentivize being pretty for girls and that is going to be pretty impossible.

As more girls start to realize their independence from men (because of education now opened up fully for women) the emphasis on beauty will naturally start eroding away as they realize they can do other things to support themselves and get what they want in life.

[knowtheory]

And that stops at what... age 10ish with guys?

The whole 'ooh what beautiful daughters you have' thing continues well on into the teens, if not beyond.

[_delirium]

I'm in my late 20s and still get that if I visit relatives with my parents! But Greek relatives seem to consider any unmarried children to be kids, regardless of age.

[true_religion]

Ditto in my culture. Talking about how handsome you are (you share my genes, how can you not be handsome?) and how surprising it is that you haven't found a wife yet continues long into your 20s.

To be honest, I think this whole debate is a generalization based on a post-victorian western culture where all the frivolities concerning male appearance have died. Previously, men--at least the aristocratic sort--used to wear make up, tights, wigs and high heels all at once but now only women do.