[chrischen]

I'm sure if it were a little boy in pajamas the author would have had the same urge to say how cute he was.

> Again, something we only do for girls.

It's not as if all men let themselves go. It takes work, even for a man, to not become fat, smelly, and overly hairy.

I think the underlying cause for women to focus too much on appearances is because it is much easier for women, in current society, to marry into wealth and/or depend on a man. I think this has a much larger influence on women focusing more on their appearances than behavioral conditioning through constant complimenting.

The compliment is a signal. If the person is pretty and you say that, then it's a proper signal. If you tell a child they are smart because they did some random thing, it's not necessarily a proper signal. Sending a wrong signal is bad. In the case of telling a child s/he's smart when s/he's not, the child may not try as hard anymore because s/he may wrongfully think s/he's smart enough already... In the case of telling someone s/he's pretty, as long as it's true, there's nothing wrong with it because being pretty can actually have practical advantages. It is then up to the person to choose whether to leverage his/her physical assets or his/her mental assets to get what s/he wants in life.

[kamaal]

Yes, Even I don't understand how giving a good complement can do any harm and that too to an extent this article points. In fact the opposite is true, if you call a kid stupid or ugly it can be him/her very discouraging.

Also the point on women seeking beauty to ensure the get the alpha male from the pack is very true.