[optymizer]

I have two young children. I'm objectively less happy than I used to be, mostly because I lost the freedom to do whatever I wanted and the time to do whatever I wanted, on top of gaining all of these new stressful responsibilities, and I've always liked to travel, be productive and create things.

That said, when I look back at how I was using that freedom and time, it wasn't very efficient, but even if I optimized my use of it, I would have reached a local maximum of happiness, because I think there's only so much happiness one can bring onto themselves by mastery, shipping products and having hobbies, and, in order to experience additional happiness, major external factors must influence your life.

Having children is that external factor that initially introduced a ton of responsibility and cost (monetary, health, mental and time), but, if the early data points are any indication, the maximum happiness level should exceed the previous local maximum by an order of magnitude. The instant happiness I experience right now just from interacting with them already makes the responsibility worthwhile.

With time, I expect to get back some of the previous freedom and time, and, with that, the happiness it brings me, which should be an additive operation, pushing the overall happiness to a much higher level than the previous local maximum.

[redisman]

Having kids can be a way out of from a too-comfortable hedonistic life. I also realized I had just frittered away precious time doing nothing of much value for the last 10 years.

For data points, while I’m tired as fuck all year I’ve never (maybe as a child) smiled so much as when my new infant tries to constantly get my attention and then giggles when she does.

[travisporter]

I wish I could hug you. This is exactly how I feel but didn’t have the words to express it.

Kids take up so much time that I often wonder why -> how did I spend time before kids -> why am I not that much less productive now -> awww -> everything’s gonna be all right.

But that being said it’s absolutely okay to not want kids and be extremely happy with your life. If only there was a shareware parenthood.

[alluro2]

Thanks for an amazing explanation that I feel can both reach someone who is not a parent through how it modifes the local maximum, but also verbalizes the feelings and "justification" for being a parent so well.