| Hey mate, congrats! I hit financial independence in my early 30s (not flashy rich, but sufficient to never work again) and am now 37. Here's my take: People get directionless and depressed after winning the lottery. It's a common thing, and you can read a ton of sad stories about it. Also from hitting it big in professional sports, business, whatever. I say that to reassure you that (1) it's not you, it's human nature, (2) you aren't doing anything wrong, and (3) you aren't alone. Essentially, what has happened (if you'll forgive me for generalizing and guessing) is that you're suddenly suffering *a vacuum of purpose.* You used to get your purpose from your studies/struggles/work, and now those things have had the legs kicked out from under them. So on the one hand: fuck! That's a lot of change. But on the other hand, this was going to happen eventually anyway. Eventually, you were going to retire, or get fired, or get injured, and end up with a lot of time on your hands and the inability to follow the prescribed path. People get bummed out in retirement, too, for the same reason. So now, what you've got is an opportunity to bring the learning forward: to figure out how you want to live while you've still got maximum optionality. That's a terrible responsibility and a tremendous luxury. But it's in no way easy. The hardest part about your current situation will be the lack of understanding from everyone around you, because they only see the upside. But the downside -- and it's real as hell and hard as hell -- is that you now need to figure out how you want to live, completely unconstrained. That's a life's work. But it's also a life's meaning. So try stuff. When I first got free, I learned to sail, bought an old boat, spent 6 months in a boatyard working 10 hour days of manual labor to repair it, and then spent 3 years sailing around the coasts and canals of England, France, and Spain. I thought that was what I wanted. It's what I had always imagined doing if I didn't need to work. And you know what I learned? That I enjoy working on interesting projects with smart people. And that I enjoy being able to have friends over for dinner parties and board games. So in the years since then, I've been gradually trading off pieces of my freedom for other things that I find more rewarding. Learning how to live a life is an experimental, experiential, exploratory process. I wish you well with it, though. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be. But it's very, very meanignful. It's less about deciding how you want to live, and more about discovering how you want to live. In terms of mundane tips, try to keep the expenses in check for at least a couple years while you give yourself time to explore it. Don't throw yourself into the icy waters of complete overnight lifestyle change. Take your time; the money will still be there. Maybe you'll find new meaning in the journey, and maybe you'll find a new passion in the process. We all need something to be excited about, but sometimes we need to go find it. |