[adjkant]

While there may be some good life wisdom dispensed in this thread, honestly I think it will all amount to armchair psychology. I think some individual therapy may go much further here. Have you been to one to specifically talk about this? If not, start there.

This could be a mindset thing, or it also could be a specific to a diagnosis that may be helpful to have to better understand yourself. A qualified therapist will be able to help you figure that out.