[ketzo]

> Stop being racist

What? The OP is trying to look at the premise of the post through a lens of race – non-white women are often fetishized by white men for their non-whiteness. I mean, shit, look at... any porn site. And they're right – fetishization makes for a totally different dating experience, a different experience of The Thing.

Where is the racism here? Is just mentioning the idea of race somehow racist?

[BlueTemplar]

Actually, yes, kind of the whole point - the concept of race is racist. And "looking through a lens of race" is racist too.

(EDIT : the OP doesn't mention race though, so the blame might be actually more on the answerer.)

The whole concept is not only scientifically flawed (and so was largely abandoned by anthropologists, who prefer to use the much more culturally than genetically defined concept of ethnicity), but has also resulted in untold suffering in the 19th and 20th centuries.

Not that fetishization of skin color isn't an issue, but affirming the validity of race by using it to think about this issue is guaranteed to make matters worse.

[wayoutthere]

Race as a biological imperative of some sort is absolutely hogwash. What race you are seen as says nothing about who you are as a person or what you are capable of. On that we agree.

Race as a sociological phenomenon is very real to those who experience it. Fetishization of race in sex is demonstrably real as well and not limited to women.

Regardless, race isn’t really the important part — it was just an example. You could replace race with any number of descriptors of a person (weight, height, etc) and it doesn’t make it feel any better to be fetishized; it’s not two people having sex, it’s one person having sex with an idea. Ideas aren’t supposed to have feelings, dreams, or agency.

Some combinations of these sociological states are just a lot more likely to be fetishized (and porn sites have the stats on that!) And when they are, it changes the power dynamics around sex significantly.

[AnIdiotOnTheNet]

> Actually, yes, kind of the whole point - the concept of race is racist

I disagree. Having to do with race is racial, not racist. The latter is inherently prejudiced. Merely mentioning race does not make something racist.

[gorwell]

What would you call it when someone is obsessed with race and views skin color as paramount? Squeezing everything through that lens and making judgements on that basis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg

[ketzo]

Looking to examine an argument through the context of physical appearance, in an article about physical appearances, does not speak to me of obsession or "squeezing."

We're talking about fetishization, sexual gaze, and power dynamics. It would be irresponsible to not talk about the role that race plays in this conversation.

[akyoan]

> It would be irresponsible to not talk about the role that race plays in this conversation.

Hard disagree. What you're saying reminds me of Seinfeld’s "Not that there's anything wrong with that" suffix and "I'm not racist, but" starter. You don't have to mention things that are obvious, you're just making the conversation awkward.

I fail to see how talking about race (keep reading) changes anything about the the concept at hand: People want you because you have "the Thing, and maybe only the Thing."

"Being an Asian woman" itself can be the Thing, that's still covered by the article.

[akyoan]

Are you serious right now? Do you think white women are not fetishized by black men and Asian men? I live in Asia and let me tell you something…

Both your comment and the parent are racist because you’re applying common issues to “white men” while they’re really not limited by race in any way whatsoever. Whether this or that race is fetishized by which race is completely irrelevant in the context of the article.

[wayoutthere]

Fetishization is absolutely relevant in the context of the article. It completely changes the power dynamics associated with sex, which is what the article is about.

And I absolutely do believe white people can be fetishized! But this article is written in the context of a white person living in a predominantly white society. My main argument is that her experience is not generalizable to the wider population, who experience the power dynamics of sex very differently.