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Modern Psychology Rocked by Motivation Discovery Chiba, Japan -- For decades, eminent psychologists had struggled with what exactly motivates people. Today all those theories have been conclusively shown to stem from one single fear: the loss of group identity. Sebastian Marshall, a self-declared business analyst operating out of Japan, discovered this principle while seated on a bench, sipping an iced coffee, much like Isaac Newton when he discovered gravity. "Who would have thought that Competency, Relatedness, and Autonomy were all derived from group identity?" wondered an astounded Dr. Edward Deci, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. "Maybe Relatedness, but all three? This is going to revolutionize Psychology, bringing it closer to Sociology." President Barack Obama stated, "It is advances like this which show that our humanity is grounded in our sociability.
Our ability to come together to overcome all challenges. We should take the single "man" out of "humanity" and replace it with "peoples". Hu-peoples-ity. Or maybe replace it with "meeples", you know, the little guys from Carcassonne. God, I love that game." |