[d-d]

I was plagued by anxiety and negative thinking for twenty years. I could barely make eye contact with people. It wasn't until I started praying to God as best I understood him to be with as few words as possible, focusing on listening for the minutes and days to follow, that I was led to answers that cured everything in a matter of days.

[muzani]

This is common for addictions too. I define an addiction as a state of mind where you don't want to stop. You can't will your way out of it, and you won't take actions to avoid it either. And then the self hate further drains your willpower to the point that you can't muster the will to change. Depression is similar, it's an oddly painful but comfortable feeling, like being in a blanket in freezing weather.

I think the Twelve Step Program is too many steps. The key is probably just admitting that you are powerless to change, and requesting that a higher power guides you. Something in that process clears the deadlock.