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by AlwaysRock 1661 days ago
I got involved with a weekly online poker game with some college buddies early on during the pandemic. It's been life changing. I know at least once a week I'm hanging out with friends and there are no expectations or pressure other than shooting the shit and playing poker.

I'm drastically less lonely based on that one life change. It's incredible what a difference that can make.
1 comments
kelseyfrog 1661 days ago
Fantastic advice! Lately I've been re-thinking how I've made friends throughout my life. I had some things right but some others were misguided. Creating intentional spaces was something right. I put myself into situations where I could be friendly with workmates during lunch and definitely felt engaged and friendly with the people there.

Over the years though, it felt more and more hollow. We've had time to step back and think lately. I realized what was missing was emotional openness and that comes with a little vulnerability. While being friendly with workmates is nice, it isn't the place to show emotional vulnerability. I had set myself up to never be able to turn associates into friends.

It finally clicked as to why people keep their work and friends separate. I'm glad you found your groove. The quality of life that comes with having deep friendships is incredible. I hope stories like these inspire others to take a step toward realizing deep friendship.

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AlwaysRock 1660 days ago
Absolutely. I don't get a lot out of small talk. (or "people talk") Some people do and that is certainly easier to get that from co workers. I like deep talk. Or talking about ideas. Sometimes you can get that from coworkers but typically that type of stuff isnt directly tied to work so its cut off after a 45 minute lunch or is relegated to office happy hours which is fine but again I don't find booze helps with actually feeling connected. It just tricks one into thinking they feel connected for a time. But that another topic entirely.
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mensetmanusman 1659 days ago
I like the adage ‘community is showing up’

Weekly seems important. I am part of a mens group that has coffee weekly at 6AM, it’s awesome.

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