[mchanson]

You don't need to know how to look after yourself. This is perfect is the enemy of the good type situation.

Not being a fully realized person doesn't stop you from making connections. Even deep great friendships. You and your friends can grow together over time. You can cut out friends that are not a good fit over time if they are bad for you (abusive, etc.).

[tsol]

In fact, I find more and more the people who are most successful around me are those who just go for it rather than being contentious and trying to perfect themselves. I think the best place to be is, at always, in the middle. Too much alone time and you may be very independent but you don't want to spend time with others as they're worse company than your own self. Too little alone time, and you become codependent and don't learn to be independent.

[ljm]

Of course, but this isn't the same thing as the parent poster's surprise about people not finding partners or having kids.

I'm talking specifically about that kind of relationship. As everyone has pointed out, it would not be great to take this approach while making friends and doing the things friends do.