[Jeema101]

OP, I have felt many of the same things as you. It sounds like you have very high expectations for yourself - perhaps you imagined yourself being somewhat well known in your field or well regarded in life in some way by now.

The reality is that your expectations may not have ever been realistic to begin with. Most of us are not going to be well-known or famous. Insisting that you 'have to' become this or that in life by point X is just going to make you depressed.

I would say, firstly, you need to give yourself a break and take credit for whatever you have accomplished in life. Your thinking has become distorted. Are you seeing a therapist? They could potentially help you sort out some of these negative thoughts and set more realistic goals for yourself. Those goals should be small and achievable to start - not unachievable pie-in-the-sky dreams that will just make you demotivated.