[nate_meurer]

Thanks for this addendum, this is important. I'd also emphasize the practical effect that our rudeness/friendliness can have. I experienced this last year when we were trying to get care for my father after he was nearly killed by COVID. The hospital wanted to send him home before he was able to care for himself, and we wanted the hospital to discharge him to rehab instead.

My sister's initial strategy was to go full Karen and treat the patient care coordinator like she was my sister's employee. She adapted to the coordinator's natural reticence with increasing bitchiness, and quickly got her calls screened.

My father on the verge of getting kicked out while still in dire need of care, I called the same coordinator, explained our dilemma in detail, said I don't know what to do, and asked for her help. My magic spell was simply to treat the coordinator as a resourceful and intelligent person who was in a position to help me, and ask her plainly for help. That's it. The coordinator told me she'd see what she could do, and then spent the next two days searching for a solution. When she found a way to get my dad into rehab for a few days, I told her she was my hero.

I try to treat even the most obviously external and powerless customer service reps with the same plain respect as that patient coordinator, and I'm often surprised by how far it gets me.