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Personally, I appreciated a lot of what you wrote, and even more so, that you're standing up for your own frame in response to the person saying what their frame is. > Convoluted, conflicted, generalized, and entitled. I wrote a blog post called the subjective adjective[0], where I talked about how sometimes we take our own personal feelings/experiences and then stamp an objective reality onto them. E.g., if I feel conflicted, I may say that the article itself is conflicted, implying that everyone would feel conflicted when seeing the article—not necessarily true. -- Here I'll go presenting the way I see it, my (current) frame... I wonder if it's more of a conflict between competing frames and one person (whom you name the frame controller) has a stronger and more stubborn grip on their frame and the other (the frame surrenderer?) has a weaker and looser grip on theirs. I say this imagining that in many situations, I would fall more in the camp of strongly and stubbornly believing things; whereas in some, I would surrender my frame to the frame of another rather quickly—e.g., cooking, painting, accounting, just to name a few. I find that I surrender to what the other believes when I feel particularly insecure, doubtful, and uncertain of what I believe. Someone insults my intelligence? Most of the time, I stand strong. Someone insults my physical appearance? Most of the time, I acquiesce. While you may prefer to label the people as frame controllers, I prefer to label the behavior as frame controlling, or maybe even frame conflict, with frame conquering and frame surrendering. Lol, I don't know actually. Regardless, I feel really grateful you wrote this and helped me reflect on this more. I also imagine, if you had been in such situations with your dad where he were defining The Frame, it might feel difficult to define and defend the frame you're presenting here. So, thank you for putting it forth. [0]: https://www.jimkleiber.com/the-subjective-adjective/ |