| While it goes without saying that wishes not to be hugged should be respected, and cultural norms differ, and the Western way of doing things is not the "correct" way that should be forced unto others in the case of hugging I can't help but think that the absence of hugging (romantic or casual friendly etc) and handshaking (formal or casual high fives etc) really is sad and really DOES rob people in China, Korea, Japan etc of one of life's simple pleasures and high points of the day I too like you am a European who spent many years in East Asia (Japan, but I have many Korean and Chinese friends and have visited those countries too) and while I definitely had some uncomfortable hugs and handshakes, overwhelmingly, a good hug or handshake would produce big grins, squeals of joy, instant warmth and connection etc etc, irrespective of gender, age, whether between friends or complete strangers - despite language and cultural barriers. Without exaggerating, sometimes it's almost as if you're allowing someone to experience something they've been denied their whole life and people just gobble it up and look like they've had an epiphany or something. In case it seems like I'm just making this up in my own mind, I don't think so, because many, many people have told me that the rigid norms banning most types of affection from public life, and even in the home, is one of their pet peeves about their own culture and society. Maybe there is some selection bias in that foreigners tend to be surrounded by people who are OK with or interested in or prefer the foreign way of doing things, but I don't think so either, I lived in an area with very few if any foreigners and have many friends who don't speak English and don't have much if any interest in going abroad etc, and they would still say the same thing. I'm acutely aware of how cringe the above might sound but rest assured it's not because I think I'm some hot or cool guy or whatever. Just a human being who likes hugs and handshakes. Each to their own and YMMV! |
At least you should hang out a day or two...