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by mucholove 1660 days ago
Why is ML easier than social skills? I think because social skills hit your emotions.

With that said—some advice.

2 types of social skills:

1 - Approach

2 - Long term / friendship / partnership

Both are very different. I'm good at the first, but not great at the second.

For the first:

1 - Make sure you are healthy and getting healthier. Fitness first. (I recommend Partner Acrobatics—and once strong enough BJJ. These are also social. Best path to strength is through gymnastics). Get a personal trainer if you can.

2 - Learn to get over rejection. It will happen a bunch—by both males and females. A lot of people—especially older, already have friends. They don't need more.

3 - Join hobby-based groups. What do you really like? Do it with a group. Find a group. And make sure you really like what you do. The energy you give off will bring people to you.

For the long term:

1 - Time management is crucial.

2 - Invite people over for dinners

3 - Make sure you plan lots of activites

4 - Make sure you can view social events on your calendar app so you fill every day

5 - Learn to listen.

6 - Learn to follow up with people about really meaningful events / people / projects in their lives and call/see them every 3 months or less. Ideally you can find someone you talk to every day :) And then an ever growing number of people in the other buckets.

Good luck!!

1 comments

> 2 - Invite people over for dinners

Or other social activities/hobbies. I guess that's why board games are so popular, they allow you to have social interactions while following a very constrained set of rules.

edit: I shouldn't leave this uncommented:

> 5 - Learn to listen.

This! People want to talk, people feel good if they have the feeling that someone cares for them. Just listening is a great way to make friends.