[introaway]

"Typically" is a bit overly optimistic IMO. "Possibly" seems more accurate - low quality conversations (e.g. the weather, sports, etc.) are typically just psychological glue so folks don't feel awkward during silence.

And I think it's fair to say that extroverts value that glue more than introverts, generally speaking. For an introvert, the value of the glue may even be exceeded by the cost of discussing some random nonsense they don't really care about.

[xvector]

I agree that possibly is a better term.

I'm very introverted myself, but I realized if I'm trying to make friends or whatever I have to deal with the small talk.

I think there is a vanishingly small amount of people - even amongst introverts - that will jump straight into the deep end of a discussion with someone right off the bat. Most of my introvert friends also engage in warm up small talk before talking about whatever it is we talk about.

That said, I don't make small talk with strangers unless I'm interested in making them a friend or acquaintance: so I suppose your opportunity cost perspective still applies, as I definitely don't make small talk just to make a silence more comfortable.

[IWantToRelocate]

there's a guy in my building that 100% of the time he talks about the weather when we met in the elevator. its kinda funny that some people can't deal with silence for a few seconds

[dandelany]

As a person who has talked about weather with neighbors... It's not necessarily about being uncomfortable. All small talk has a subtext, and in this case I think it's something like:

"Hi neighbor, it's nice to see a familiar face. I'm glad to see that you are alive and well, as am I. I am still a normal non-creepy person who lives near you & who cares that you are doing well. If you ever find yourself in a jam eg. locked out, I'll try to help you, and hope I can rely on you to do the same for me. But I don't necessarily want to be your friend, and I realize that you have other things going on at the moment, so I won't bother or distract you with a conversation that takes longer than an elevator trip or requires emotional vulnerability or introspection."

I think we don't say these things in these words because it takes too long, and it requires engaging with someone on a more personal/honest/vulnerable level than they may really be comfortable with given that I'm basically a total stranger.

[diegoperini]

I love those guys. It shows how important it is for them to not cause trouble or create surprises for random strangers that they are willing to repeat the same conversation with that level of dedication.

It is the purest form of empathy and yet unfortunately also the most invisible kind.

[hericium]

The fact that someone talks because they find silence uncomfortable doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with empathy. It may be a form of self-help executed against someone who doesn't really want to talk nor feels in any way uncomfortable when not talking about crap like weather, plans for the weekend, or - better yet - doesn't want to be annoyed by politics.

Hell, I know people who tend to help themselves into dumb conversations while the other person reads a book or does something similar. No empathy here.

[_blu]

sigh...it's not really about the weather. get it. extroversion is not about talking, but socializing, warmth, dominance etc.

[hericium]

People are different. Not everyone uses weather as an entry point to other topics. Some talk about weather and just this, when in the elevator, with no intention of going forward.

This is, I believe, to cover discomfort coming from silence and such conversations, while not completely pointless, often have little value. They would talk about just anything, to combat this feeling. Weather is a good topic because most people can relate and it is rarely annoying.

I would say that both intro- and extroverts can act like this but conversations started by introverts tend to be more awkward. I think that lonely people are more likely to start valuable conversations.

[soco]

I think that people are giving here genuine feedback from where they are coming from. And it looks like what you think they think is definitely not necessarily what they say they think. So unless somebody told you directly that they use the weather discussion for that reason, it could be that you value more your assumptions than their first-hand explanations...

[introaway]

That doesn't strike me as empathy - I'm not villifying it either, but it's more about personal psychological needs than the needs of others (which lumps it in with most behavior of course, hence not villifying it).

Sure, for their mental model of other people they're being nice (and in some cases they actually are) - but not everybody has the same mind or preferences. True empathy is built on understanding that.

[GoblinSlayer]

I have this impression too, that extroverts are socially numb and hardly notice anything, sometimes even oblivious about people around them. Well, due to this numbness cheap talk has no chance to get through their skin. In this way extrovert is a literally precise term: lots out, little in.