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by GDC7 1669 days ago
> The intensity of this feeling is related to your personal feeling of your self worth

Calling none sense. IT'S NOT IN YOUR HEAD!

There are objective levels to it.

Say I work in film making and specialize on actors wardrobes , I can make a good living, perhaps even reach a 7 figures net worth.

Fast forward award seasons comes around, during the afterparties everybody wants to talk and interact with the stars. Even if in my head my self-confidence is sky high and I am super social, approaching everybody, these people would avoid me and judge me as a weirdo, both during the party (to my face) and afterwards.

In that moment I am an obstacle to their real social goal of the night: interacting with Jennifer Lawrance, taking a picture with her, or even getting any reaction from her (including negative ones and extremely negative ones such as flipping the bird or telling people off).

This is an extreme example , of course, but generally people go to social gatherings and have a pretty clear idea of the person or even the profile of people they want to interact with.

This means that people do , in fact, judge or pre-classify or create standings in their minds, and if you aren't one of those sought after people then an interaction with you will most likely received as a disappointment compared to an ideal scenario that they had built in their own minds.

This means that you'd be judged.

2 comments

I think people just not think about people that don't matter to them.
Well it's not that much better.

Being irrelevant and being hated/laughed at are the same thing essentially.

Meaning they are both something else compared to the desired outcome: being loved and respected.

It's not and context matters. Passerby are generally irrelevant to other passerby.
> Passerby are generally irrelevant to other passerby

When you are in a super-optimal and franly desirable situation you are never just a passerby and thus you are never irrelevant.

Jennifer Lawrance, for example is never classified as a passerby and thus she's never irrelevant.

In response to your earlier comment, say the orfer of preference is the follwing:

1) Being loved and cheered by a crowd

2) Being ignored by a crowd

3) Being hated and actively threatened by a crowd.

Irrlevancy might be at no.2 , but it's notorious that second place is the last place

The world is a mirror and you are looking into it.